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100-Word Rants


Sometimes, you’ve just got to let off some steam. Four Wilson kids did just that, ranting about whatever is is that grinds their gears—in 100 words or less.

Sarah Burch, 10, on people joaning on vegans:

So the only time you talk to me is when you copy my history notes and now you’re going to attack me for my diet? Sweet, let’s do this! I get enough protein and I don’t miss burgers and I actually don’t feel that bad about hurting the plants! I don’t really love animals that much, I’m just against institutionalized for-profit cruelty. It’s super chill that you love Five Guys, I just value the life of an animal over the minutes of a meal. But please, keep joaning on me for trying to make the world suck a little less


Grace Mills, 9, on long Snapchat stories:

Why do people put 10-second pictures on their snapchat stories?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!!? No. I do not need that picture in my life for 10 seconds. You are not that important. Please stop and reevaluate how many seconds you are going to put that on your story for and don’t even get me started on people who have 100-second stories of just 10-second videos.


Zoe Mills, 11, on metro riders:

I swear I wake up every day just for public transportation to let me down. Who single tracks on a Saturday night? And why do people sit next to me when other are seats open? I obviously don’t want to be trapped in a booth with two bags and a lacrosse stick poking out unless I absolutely have to, and even then do you really have to get all up in my face breathing hard and talking loudly and not getting up when I need to get off the train? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SIT NEXT TO ME???


Kellik Dawson, 11, on the costs of College:

It blows my mind that our entire lives we’re trained to do something and by the time we’re almost able to taste it, it’s snatched away in an instant. I’m sure everyone, regardless of race or class, has worried about the price of college. My main problem is that even if I take out all those loans, will the price be worth it? A lot of people I know who’ve gone to college have said the experience is amazing, but I’m not sure I want to sign my name in blood for an experience. Is all that money worth it?


Greg Kopetsky, 11, on crew kids:

When asked for a rant on crew kids, Mr. Kopetsky declined to comment.



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