We tried every muffin at Whole Foods so you don’t have to

Whole Foods is a popular destination for many Tigers wanting a last-minute snack. In the front corner of the store sits the bakery section: a glorious collection of croissants, bagels, and our favorite, muffins. Although the selection of our beloved baked goods might be overwhelming, we are here to make the variety a bit more digestible. We put in the work to taste and definitively rank every muffin at Whole Foods so you know just what to grab on your way to class.


The Villain: Banana Nut

This is the muffin we would give to someone we hate if they asked us to grab them a muffin but didn’t specify which one. We were both shocked at just how atrocious the banana nut muffin was; it quite literally induced nausea in both of us. It lacked any banana flavor whatsoever, consisting of a weird, bluish-gray mass covered with pecans, which threw off the flavor of the muffin. The one redeeming quality was its size; it’s pretty large and your dollar goes a long way here. Unfortunately this is also a downside because you then have to eat more of it. This muffin was dry, bland, dense, and neither of us would ever buy it again. Ever. Truly sinister. 2.02/5

Plain Jane: Corn 

Surprisingly not in last-place is the corn muffin. The addition of actual corn kernels inside the muffin definitely boosted its rating. This muffin had a drastically different texture than the others:  light and airy, but dry. The corn muffin also falls much farther on the savory side of the spectrum than any other muffin on this list, and desperately needs a hot cup of chili as company. For all its “meh”-ness, we gave it exactly a 2.5/5.

Not Mad, Just Disappointed: Blueberry 

Better than fine (but not good) feels like an appropriate description here. We immediately found all the blueberries clustered at the bottom of the muffin, and since the batter was plain muffin batter, this was like half plain muffin and half blueberry muffin. For this, it earned 2.8/5.

The Underdog: Cranberry Orange  

This was a surprise. Who would’ve thought that the frankly abnormal combination of cranberry and orange would taste so good? And yet, here we are. The texture was nice, with an ideal distribution of cranberries. Would we buy it again? Maybe. Was it good? Yes. 4/5

Valid: Vegan Blueberry 

This muffin avoided the pitfalls of the regular blueberry, with even distribution of blueberries and great flavor throughout. The vegan muffins at Whole Foods seem to consistently outperform their non-vegan counterparts in texture and flavor, so we can confidently rank this above regular blueberry. 4.2/5

The Go-to: Chocolate Chip 

When you think of a muffin, you probably think of this chocolate chip muffin. Overflowing in size and plentiful with chocolate chips, it’s exactly what a stressed student needs on a Monday morning. Its sole flaw is that, for some, it may be a bit too sweet for a weekday morning. This is a great dessert and a good breakfast. 4.3/5

The Hero: Vegan Chocolate Chip

The vegan chocolate chip muffin might seem an odd choice for best of the group, but it simply outperformed the rest. The chocolate is darker than in the normal chocolate muffin and it’s much moister than other muffins. It is rich and will easily fill you up, giving it the best value of the bunch and giving it a 4.5/5 However, if you are not a chocolate lover, do NOT buy this. Maybe opt for banana nut instead. •